I’m usually good at coming up with things to write about myself, but every now and then, I like answering the little prompts on here. Just for funsies, ya know? And this one felt fitting, considering the fact that at the time of writing, I recently turned 30 and have literally just finished coursework for my music therapy degree that took more than a decade to complete.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I want to start this off with a song — “I Want It All” by one of my all-time favorite bands, Queen.

This song has been my mantra throughout the past few years, ever since I decided I was done sucking at life. Like, I was stuck in a marriage I rushed into for the wrong reasons, I had a burgeoning drinking problem, my mental health was in the toilet (as if it had ever been anywhere else), my music career was DOA, and I couldn’t even finish my damn degree, having dropped out of the program twice. I thank God for my brother. As complicated as our relationship is at times (for reasons that would take a whole other blog post), he’s the one who intervened when I was thisclose to driving my car into the fucking river.

I have a band that I really should talk about more on here called Wake Up Jamie, and one of our songs is called “I Hate My 20s.” It’s exactly what it says on the tin — a song about how much it sucks to be in your twenties. I didn’t write it, and I don’t sing it (my bandmate Hailey does), but I relate to as if I wrote it myself. Sometimes I feel like I wasted my youth being a crap sack of a person, but I think everyone feels that way to an extent. As much as we idolize being young, it’s kind of a struggle to figure things out, and most people take a minute to get it together.

That being said, I’m excited for these next ten years. I feel like I’m finally confident in who I am as a person and have some sort of direction in life. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I’m a hell of a lot closer than I was ten years ago, when I was still wide-eyed and optimistic about everything. I’m still optimistic, just in a different way. I’ve seen how low life can get, and yet there’s always been a way out of it. There will always been rain, but it doesn’t last. The sun will rise in the morning.

I realize I still haven’t answered the actual question, but in ten years, I imagine myself finally living the dreams of my youth, with a life full of love and music. I want to have a family of sorts, with children of my own. I can already imagine a little curly-haired Cadence Amirah singing along to the songs written by me and my friends, her own mixtape of music from people who love her. My wife will stay home with the kids while I go to work at some prestigious university, performing research that shapes the world of music therapy. In addition, I’d like to have a private practice and recording studio where clients can work through their struggles while recording an album. I want to work with clients of all diagnoses and walks of life, but of course, there’s a special place in my heart for neurodivergent folks like myself. Maybe I’ll have an autistic client who gets to write music about his special interest in a world that wants him to shut up about it. Or maybe I’ll have an ADHD client who can revel in producing a song, the first thing she’s ever accomplished on her own after a lifetime of hopping from project to project without finishing anything. It will be rigorous work, but so rewarding. Aside from music therapy, I want to write songs and either perform them myself or send them off to Nashville or LA to be recorded by people more famous than me. I want to pen that one hit song that secures my legacy as a songwriter and a livelihood for my family.

I don’t know where I’ll live. I’d like to stay in the Midwest so I can remain close to my girlfriend, who I have every intention of building a life with as well, but the details are up in the air. Saugatuck is the goal, as a gay little vacation town in western Michigan, where we can have our idealistic lake house filled to the brim with oddities of every sort, from vintage Pokémon merchandise to colorful crystals of every size to a dinosaur skeleton. I’d commute to Western Michigan University every other day or so in order to teach or perform research, and have a humble studio in Saugatuck where I’ll spend most of my days. At night, I’ll go home and watch the moon on the water from my back porch and enjoy the life I’ve built for myself, sipping some Red Bull margaritas or nonalcoholic wine and playing guitar for my wife and kids.

I’m getting goosebumps writing this all out, and the crazy thing is, this can actually happen. I think back to when I just turned 20, how different my life looked from now. I imagined a day when I’d have my own little apartment and a significant other and a cat to share it with. I dreamed of having a band I considered family, just like the ones I saw on Behind the Music as a kid. I remember when I’d never set foot on a stage bigger than the corner of a coffeeshop, and we just played Arts Beats and Eats last summer! I’m exactly where I hoped I’d be ten years ago, and while not everything is perfect, I’m content with the way things are going. I think 20-year-old me would be pleased.

And ten years from now, I hope I feel the exact same way.

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