I have a confession: I read a lot of self-help. Maybe it’s because I need a lot of help. After all, I could slap my name on the DSM-V manual and call it my autobiography.
Some of the books are total woo-woo, others have good ideas but aren’t practical. But every once in a while, I find one with substance.
Enter How to do Everything and Be Happy by a fine British fellow named Peter Jones.
I was pleasantly surprised with the wisdom of this book. You see, Mr. Jones tragically lost his wife only a few years into his marriage to her, and he realized just how fragile the human life is. Which, of course, led him to reevaluate everything. One thing led to another, and he found himself making a series of lists of things he wanted to do during his time on earth. Kind of like a bucket list, but this list was a now list. He wasn’t going to wait until he was knocking on death’s door to accomplish the items on this list. He wanted to start working toward them now, setting aside a day every month to either complete an item or research how to complete an item.
In the book, he encourages everyone to make a series of lists as well, including their own “now list.” Which got me thinking about all the things I want to do with my time here. After all, I have a lot of varying interests and goals. So much so that when I decided to share my own list on my blog, I realized I’d have to break it up into smaller chunks. There were just so many items! These are going to take some time to finish, possibly my whole life, but I want to give it my all and try my best to experience everything.
So without further ado, here is the first installment of my “now list.”
1. See Taylor Swift live
Anyone who knows me knows I’m a bit of a Swiftie, albeit initially against my will. I remember being on tour with my former band and being locked in a van with 1989 playing on repeat, back when it first dropped. I hadn’t been impressed by her in the past. So she’s a white girl with a guitar and some songs about boys — like, I’m all those things too. It’s not that special, right? But something happened while I was trapped in that van. I actually started to appreciate her songwriting style, and her music was actually…good? I got home and bought all her albums for myself, and it turns out I enjoyed them more than I thought I would.
Years later, I still consider her one of my biggest musical inspirations, to the point where I’d probably rank her alongside Max Martin and Kara DioGuardi as one of my all-time favorite songwriters. But from what I’ve heard, her performances are nothing to sneeze at either. Her highly celebrated Eras tour has been making waves across the world. I didn’t catch this tour, mostly because tickets were prohibitively expensive and difficult to even come by, thanks to the shitshow that is our ticket sales system. But I’m hoping to catch one of her shows eventually. I was banking on her having a Vegas residency or something someday, when all the hype around her has died down. I always said I’d catch her when people stop caring about her, but what if one or both of us dies before that happens? I’d rather save up and jump on the opportunity as soon as it arises, which is why it’s at the top of my list.
2. Get my passport
I’m almost embarrassed to admit I’ve never left the country, save for a brief trip to Canada. (And what Detroit-area native hasn’t gone to Canada at least once?) I feel like I’m missing out on so much stuck here in the Midwest, bouncing between Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, and literally nowhere else. I’ve been to Colorado once, and the south, where my immediate family is from, quite a few times (although I’m hesitant to go back now that I’m openly queer, because of the everything). Aside from those excursions, I’ve seen very little of the world. And I want to see all of it. But that will be hard to do without a passport.
I tried getting a passport recently, but I apparently need my divorce date. I guess my inconsequential marriage that lasted less than two years is something the state needs to know about before giving me permission to leave the country. So the first matter of business is to go to the county clerk and figure that shit out. After that, it should be $130 or so for the actual passport. Then, the world will be my oyster. That is, assuming I have any money to travel out of the country. That’s a problem for later-me, though. First things first, as they say.
3. Go to the Pokémon Center in Japan
Pokémon has been a central part of my childhood ever since I first brought home Pokémon Red from a Blockbuster in kindergarten. I was immediately hooked. I loved all the creatures and the world and the gameplay mechanics. I wanted to become the very best, like no one ever was. I wanted to immerse myself in this silly game. My Pokémon became friends to me before I ever had any friends. And it grew with me. As I got older, I drifted away from the franchise for a while, but I always found myself first in line for the new RPGs, and I even befriended my future wife through Pokémon.
Going to the Pokémon Center in Japan would be like my childhood coming full circle. I don’t even know what I’d buy there. I’d just be happy to see it in person. The Pokémon phenomenon has been such a huge part of my life, and now that I have a passport (assuming I’ve completed the second item on this list), what better way to honor my inner child than by indulging her in a trip to the epicenter of it all?
4. Play a major music festival
As a little emo kid with a guitar, was my dream for years to play Warped Tour. It was one of my favorite festivals to attend, and it seemed accessible. I had friends who played it, and my former band even played a one-off gig as part of it, albeit before I joined. Now the festival is gone (unless?), but my dream of playing a major festival persists.
I specify “major” because I technically have played a festival with Wake Up Jamie, but it was a tiny one in the middle of nowhere that nobody cared about. Now I’d be tickled pink to play South Bend’s YART festival, but I want to aim high. Maybe Bonnaroo, or Lollapalooza, or some other equally silly-sounding festival. I don’t care if I play it with Wake Up Jamie, my new band, Syrin, or even as a solo act. I just want to play a big festival and see people screaming along to my music. And probably be covered in glitter, but that’s a given, considering it’s me. Speaking of things that involve lots of glitter…
5. Learn to pole dance
…I went to a “gentleman’s club” for a good friend’s birthday recently. And I have to say, I think I enjoyed it as much as he did! Not only were the girls beautiful (and I am very homosexual), they were so talented. I couldn’t take my eyes off the dazzling women as they spun around so free and graceful. It made me wish I could do something like that. And it got me thinking, what’s stopping me?
I was bound and determined to get picked for the prestigious swing and samba performances when I was in dance class, so much that I practiced my ass off every night. And it paid off! I did get selected to do those dances. And I’m sure if I put the same amount of effort into learning the art of pole, I bet I can achieve the same amount of grace as those dancers I saw at the club. I invested in a sturdy pole, which looks hilarious in my dining room, but it’s not like I was using it for its intended purpose anyways. Like, who sits at a dining table anymore anyways? Stripper poles are a far better use of the dining room space, am I right?
6. Sew a dress from scratch
I admittedly know next to nothing about the sartorial arts, and I’ll confess that the pillowcase project I bought for myself lays embarrassingly behind my tv stand so I don’t have to look at my own failure every day. I don’t do well with silly things like “instructions,” which is the main reason why I haven’t attempted to sew much in the past. You kind of have to follow a guide, or else you’re not going to make much of anything presentable. I learned this the hard way with my foray into crocheting, where I gave up on reading the directions halfway through and came up with this:
But I’ve always wanted to sew my own clothes. I liked the idea of tailoring things to myself and picking out cool fabrics. I admired people who could whip up amazing cosplay outfits, and I wished I could do the same. So when I was coming up with this list, I thought, “What’s stopping me?” (Aside from my crippling inability to follow instructions, that is.) I did buy my wife a heavy-duty sewing machine to work on her currently postponed fursuit endeavors. I just need to buckle down and learn how to use it myself. If I could whip up something like this, I’d be content.
To be continued!
JESSA JOYCE 