I write this as I sit at the front desk of the gym I work at, a job I picked up because I was already awake at 5 in the morning and already at the gym anyways. Most days, it’s easy work — I just check people in and pass the time with whatever activity doesn’t require me to leave the immediate area. Most of the patrons are very sweet and take the time to greet me as they come in. But every now and then, I have to deal with someone who is so horrifically entitled, I just want to crumple them into a ball and toss them into the sun.
Such was Man-Karen, who complained that I did not turn on the sauna for him, which is a. not my job and b. not my job (but in cursive). And no, he was not nice about it.
Which leads me to the point of this post — don’t be a dick. It’s literally that easy. Did you know it costs zero dollars to not be a dick? It’s scientifically proven that it feels good to not be a dick. And it’s the main tenet of pretty much every major faith.
Here’s the thing — when you’re a dick to someone, that shit sticks. I’ve had dozens of other people be incredibly kind to me this morning, and yet who am I going to remember later today? The one douche-wad who inspired this post.
It goes back further than that. I’m talking decades. I still remember my childhood bullies. I had some good friends and good times, but you know what else I remember? Other Jessica S. faking that I hit her so I’d get in trouble and not get to go on the ice cream trip with the other kids. (At least I turned out to be the superior Jessica S.)
Maybe you think being a dick is going to convince people to side with you. I guarantee you, it will not. It will make people resent you. One of my favorite books on dealing with relationships, Dale Carnegie’s famous How to Win Friends and Influence People, teaches that being agreeable and not argumentative is the key to winning respect from others. The more cantankerous you are, the less your side of the story will be taken seriously. I know I personally don’t have any increased desire to turn on the sauna after Man-Karen’s meltdown.
Life is already hard. Don’t make it harder for other people by being a dick for no good reason. Sure, they’ll remember you, but not in a pleasant way. You’re the gum stuck to the bottom of one’s shoe. Shit ain’t cute. Be nice, y’all.
JESSA JOYCE 