2022 so far has been a year of releasing things that no longer serve me. I started by giving up vaping, then alcohol. Next on the shit list is overeating, which will be a lot easier to address after we move to an apartment that isn’t surrounded by every fast food establishment known to man.
But perhaps my biggest vice isn’t something I do, but something I don’t do — the damn thing. As in, the stuff I actually want to do with this life.
I’ve grown so complacent with numbing myself with video games and YouTube binges that I’ve let go of a lot of my creative endeavors. To be fair to myself, I hide away in these frivolous things to escape from the stresses of work and school, and it’s healthy to indulge in mindless fun every now and then, but it’s still not an excuse to let my projects languish. Someday when I’m dead, my long-abandoned Sims or virtual farm won’t matter. What will matter is the work I leave behind, and right now, that output is pretty abysmal.
I’ve had part one of my story — THE story — finished for about half a year now. I’ve been working to get this out for more than a decade, and I finally finished it, only to wuss out and not actually publish it. Why? Part of the problem is I’m scared it’s no one’s going to like my story or even care enough to read it, but to be honest, an even bigger part of the problem is how I’m just to lazy to do much of anything.
So I’m resolving to keep writing, even when it’s hard. Even when I don’t feel like it. Because I don’t want to leave this planet someday without putting my stories out there. The saddest stories are the ones that never get told.
That being said, keep checking back here, because I’m going to post what I write on this very site. You may have noticed I switched the name of the blog again, this time to my own name. That’s because I’m intending this blog to be a repository of all my writing from now on, fiction and nonfiction alike. If you follow me for my posts on mental health and spirituality, don’t fret — I’m still going to post things on those topics from time to time. But I’m especially excited to share my story with everyone, once and for all. It’s been a part of me and my imagination for so long, and I’m ready to see it come to fruition.
It’s scary to put my writing out there, and it’ll take a lot of dedication and hard work, but I know I need to finally do the damn thing.
JESSA JOYCE 